JOCKTOBERFEST!

BEER, BRATWURST & BANDS!

What more could you possibly require I ask myself? It would seem nothing. What am I babbling on about?

The Black Isle Brewery of course! I love the Black Isle Brewery. And all their beers (especially the organic blonde. I do love a good busty blonde... erm, I digress). So when I ventured up a few weeks back to visit the brewery and stock up on supplies I heard about this mystical jocktoberfest and was immediately hooked!

From the website:

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Jocktoberfest will undoubtedly be the 'Greatest Scottish Beer Festival in the World'.

The princely sum of 'not a penny' will gain you entry and camping to live bands, organic food and unique beers from some of Scotland's finest breweries.

We are the Black Isle Brewing Co. and this is Jocktoberfest! Jocktoberfest at the Black Isle Brewing Co. on Friday 9th and Saturday 10th September 2011.
***

Sounds pretty great eh? And with special German brews from Tryst Brewery, Highland Brewing Co, Tempest Brewing Co, Fyne Ales and the Black Isle themselves it's certain to be a winner.

I'm banking on it pouring down with rain all weekend mind you, so I'll be bringing my wellies. See my T in the Park school boy error previously for details.

The brewery itself is located just over the Kessock Bridge in Inverness and with a recently opened shop, is a wonderful wee place to visit. Not only do they provide free tours and tastings they also have a range of beers / chutneys / glassware and merchandise for sale and a very friendly dog guarding the premises when a tour is in progress.

One thing that immediately struck me is how clean and pristine the whole place is. Especially in comparison with some other breweries I've visited recently! (who shall remain nameless).

Needless to say, I bought pretty much everything on offer and Jocktoberfest will be a good excuse to stock up again. I've already convinced several others to join me for the weekend and can't wait to be heading along the A9 (in the rain) to get the tent set up.

Oh, and don't forget to register to attend.

SAVE THE PLANET DRINK GERMANIC!

A step too far!

Ok, hands up, everyone has done it. What am I talking about? Getting WAY too drunk of course. I didn't mean to. How did it happen?

These past few weeks I'd been taking some well deserved time off the beer (I know, scandalous). I'd started a 3 week detox using Dr Joshi's highly recommended book. All good so far.

This plan bans all dairy / alcohol / red meat / wheat / gluten / fruit (except bananas) and a whole lot more. Did I find it difficult? No, not really. I enjoy cooking and eat pretty well as it is so loved whipping up some tasty new meals each night. What I did not enjoy was the weight loss and side effects I found myself experiencing.

I'm not exactly the biggest guy around, so to lose 3/4 of a stone in little over a week was a bit worrying. I also started to look pale, yellow, had no energy (played havoc with my already limited football prowess) and developed uncontrollable shakes in my arms and legs. My reaction. FUCK THIS! Two weeks is more than enough. I got right back on my usual, more balanced diet and have since felt my old self (whether a good thing or not remains to be seen).

Have I taken anything out of this exercise? Most certainly! I will be cooking far more balanced meals from scratch and keeping up the breakfast routine of water with a slice of lemon, a matcha tea shot (no this is not green cocaine despite how it may look) and a healthy balanced breakfast.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, getting too drunk. End of detox = celebration. Let's go for a Friday evening beer, shall we... shall we? Yes, why not. Why not indeed! Having forgone having an evening meal as I was only venturing out for 'the one' I sat myself down and proceeded to have a few sociable drinks and a few rounds of pub Jenga.

Several hours later I find myself a little confused in the little boys room wondering why my legs won't work after a lovely 'single fish'. Strange? I struggle my way back to my perch swaying around into people and decide immediately I must leave (wise move on my part). My head was fine, my body had given up the ghost. Does it end here? Of course not.

I use the beer compass to navigate my way home, then decide the ideal place to spend the evening would be snuggled up next to my friend the bathroom mat. In all fairness, she was very welcoming. Damn girlfiends and their iphones.

The moral of the story? Don't stop drinking. Your body will make you pay for it. Oh, and make sure you don't skip any meals. And no snacking in between.

I think I need a detox.